Surrender To Me (Surrender Trilogy Book 2) Read online

  Praise for Surrender Your Heart, the first book in the Surrender Trilogy:

  “An astounding multi-level story with an amazing ending.”

  -Rainbow Book Reviews

  “Best F/F Romance of 2015!”

  -Bookaholic and More Blog

  “…proves to be a wonderful read full of promise”

  -Nichols Reviews

  Surrender To Me

  Raven J. Spencer

  Copyright © 2016 by Raven J. Spencer

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are purely coincidental.

  This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever

  without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  For the fans of Penny and Carter

  Chapter One

  Penny

  It’s the day every woman dreams of, that mystical someday, the happily ever after starting right after the catalogue wedding. Okay, maybe not every woman has these dreams. I know I’ve given the idea fleeting thoughts, even before equal marriage became the law, but I’ve never obsessed on it. This moment, exactly four days away from my catalogue wedding, I am obsessing, because nothing in my life is like it used to be.

  For the past few weeks, I’ve been doing a paid internship in the philanthropy department of Forbes Inc., a corporation I had paid little attention to until I met Carter Forbes in person.

  I’m a sociology student for the better part of the week, with a few more semesters to go. Before Carter proposed to me, she had me kidnapped in order to save me from a man with ties to sex traffickers. Despite the unreal circumstances, we fell for each other. She wasn’t willing to let me go, and I’m perfectly fine with that. It’s the plot of popular romance novels these days, except it’s not a boy/girl story.

  And here I am, about to say I do to one of the richest women in the country—world, I suspect—live with her, and work for her. The latter is not so much a conflict of interest as it might be. In fact, it makes me feel a lot better to know where some of this immense amount of money goes, toward organizations that support and save women, further their careers and take their lives into different, better directions. I can do that with one mouse click. Working in this department does a lot to ease the guilt that sometimes raises its ugly head, for living a life I never imagined I would, one that includes private jets and a honeymoon in Bora Bora. Often, I still wonder if I’m not dreaming. Carter says she’s willing to pinch me if necessary, but that’s as far as she will go. I’m easy. The thought of her is enough to make me flushed, my body reacting in a familiar and intense way. I guess that means I made a good choice.

  At close to six-thirty, I sit at my desk, pondering the recent events, and the way my future is likely to look like. Traci, my supervisor, left half an hour ago. Carter is still in a meeting.

  Four days. I’m happy beyond measure, and at the same time, I’m freaking out a little. The woman I’m going to marry has many facets. She’s a successful businesswoman, smart, kind, a skilled lover—my thoughts are quickly heading down a one-way street. Anyway. She’s also involved in some secret missions that the FBI may or may not know about, rescuing women from desperate situations, providing shelter and sometimes, new identification. It’s not without danger. I want to be with her, but often enough, I’m worried about her.

  Carter doesn’t want to involve me in those missions. I haven’t asked, but she hasn’t offered either, and she’s secretive about them. That other time was an exception, because I was the mission. I still shudder at the thought of what could have happened if it hadn’t been for her.

  That’s not the only reason to freak out. I haven’t yet gotten used to living in a mansion, wearing clothes that cost more than I could ever afford on a sociologist’s salary, dining in the finest restaurants around the world. I’m pretty sure my family and friends haven’t adjusted yet either. Carter Forbes’ wedding will be an event featured in the social pages everywhere. In moments like this, when I have time to slow down and think this through, I’m afraid what the reaction might be. Will they truly believe I belong in this world, or think of me as a fraud?

  Why do I care?

  A knock on the door makes me jump and nearly drop the coffee mug in my hand.

  “I hope you’re hungry,” Carter says. “The jet is waiting. After all this talking, I really felt like New York style pizza.”

  I can feel my eyes go wide, and she laughs. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. Marlene will cook for us, but I’m sure she can make a New York style pizza if you want one. Well, technically, if you wanted to, we could take the jet.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think so.” I get up from behind my desk, and she meets me in the middle of the room, greeting me with a deep kiss.

  “Okay. Food is not the only thing you’re hungry for,” I tease her, but the joke’s on me, sort of. My voice sounds breathless, and she has noticed.

  “That’s not a surprise, I hope. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

  Her hands wander underneath my skirt. Not that I mind them there, but it’s not the right place and moment.

  “You know I can’t do that. I don’t want to be fired from my internship already.”

  “Don’t worry,” she whispers, fingertips exerting light, torturous pressure, turning my breathing into a series of gasps. “The boss doesn’t mind.”

  “Traci will mind if I don’t pay attention to what she says.”

  “Traci’s not here right now,” she reminded me. “Are you all ready for the wedding?”

  “As ready as I can be. I just hope I won’t trip or stumble over my words.”

  “As long as you remember to say I do, it will be fine. You still want to marry me, right?”

  “What do you think? Of course I do.”

  She must be kidding. I walk backwards until I’m leaning back against the desk, giving her all the access, helpless in her hands—and Carter knew that it would happen exactly this way, from the moment she opened the door. She also knows that office sex is one of my naughty, never to be realized fantasies. I’m not that adventurous.

  When she steps back, I right my clothes with a mix of relief and disappointment. She’ll make it up to me later. She always does.

  “Let’s go,” she says. “I’m sure Marlene has something delicious for us.”

  Marlene, her chef and general trustee, has accompanied us from the Caribbean island where Carter held me a more than willing captive. My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since a mid-morning break, which amuses her.

  “I know. You’re marrying me because I come with Marlene.”

  “I don’t mind that she’s part of the package,” I say. “I can’t wait to see what she did.”

  Carter lays an arm around my shoulders as she guides me out of the office and to the elevator. It’s a good thing food has taken a front seat on my mind, otherwise…Well, elevators are part of the fantasy too. When I’m with her, it’s just always on my mind.

  I am jolted out of my fantasy when we get to the parking garage and she hands me the keys. It’s a Mercedes sports car, and I don’t think I’ve seen it in the garage before. Then again, I don’t know that much about cars, neither do I care. So far, I’ve rented one when I needed to, but with the public transport in the city, it didn’t happen all that often. Here at home, Carter has a driver of course.

  Wait.

  “Think of it as an early wedding gift,” she says, pleased with the successful surprise. “I know cars are not the most important iss
ue for you, but you should be independent from my driver’s schedule, and having you take the bus all the time would get me some bad press.”

  I look from her to the car, still speechless. I can’t even come up with the first thing to say about this.

  “Try it,” Carter says, putting the keys in my hand and curling my fingers around them. “It’s fun to drive, you’ll see. We can take it on the road for a little trip sometime after the wedding, but I believe you’ll find it useful to get around in the city as well.”

  I’m still staring.

  “It’s not that big. You won’t have trouble finding parking,” she offers.

  “I’m so sorry. I…I don’t know what to say. Thank you—and you’re crazy. This is way too much.”

  “We’re not just dating anymore. You’re going to be my wife. We won’t have to go hungry, and I can still pay my employees. Don’t worry about it so much.” Carter leans in and kisses me, the action ending the argument, sending a shiver down my spine. It’s not easy to get used to this new upside down reality, in which I don’t have to worry about money or transportation. Funny, I always thought I’d like to win the lottery, and come to think of it, it’s a little like that, a chance less than one in a million.

  Then there’s this small detail about our relationship—she’s into control, and I never understood until now how much I enjoy that. It doesn’t involve whips and chains, but sometimes soft ties and the occasional toy. It’s intense, as if my life has been all shades of grey before, only recently in bright colors.

  “All right. Thank you, I really love it.” The new car smell is amazing. Whenever I experienced it before, it was never my own car, let alone a high end sports vehicle. “I need to ask you something.”

  Carter gets in the car beside me and fastens her seatbelt, looking relieved that don’t get into more of a discussion over the unexpected gift. I have to trust her on these things. She knows her finances best, and it’s not like I’m a trophy wife she has to keep happy. I would go live anywhere with her—which is not so far off, because she owns property almost everywhere.

  “Sure, whatever you need.”

  “Have you and Nick been working with the FBI lately?”

  Her expression becomes guarded. “Why would you think that? I told you we’d take a break until after our honeymoon. There will always be the need for intervention, but it’s not like we can do it all by ourselves. I want a couple of weeks to focus on you entirely.”

  Oh God, I want that too. There’s no need to say it out loud judging from the small smile playing over her lips. She had me from the moment we first met, and that’s not an exaggeration.

  “I’m very much okay with that. I just think…I hope you’ll be able to share more of those cases with me. We should work on them together.”

  Her smile deepens as she shakes her head. “They’re not cases. Look, Nick and I have been doing this for a long time. We have a network of people who work with us, and everyone knows the risks involved. There’s no way I’ll be dragging you into this.”

  “So I’m supposed to smile and not ask any questions, just spend your money and be ready for sex when you come home?”

  My indignation isn’t all genuine, and she knows it. Plus, I feel silly saying those words while behind the wheel of a brand new Mercedes. That’s the problem though, isn’t it? I want to make more of a contribution.

  “Sounds like an idea,” she says dryly. “However…I think we have already established that it isn’t your style. It’s only been a few months. I get it, this is a whole different life, but you’ll get used to it. You don’t have to risk your life to earn it.”

  This is not the first or the last time we’ll have this conversation. “Then what did I do? What did I do to deserve it?”

  Carter gives me a long intent glance when we have to stop at a red light. “I love you,” she says. “I can’t give you any better explanation.”

  “I love you too. Sometimes I worry it’s not enough.”

  “It is,” she promises.

  Who am I to doubt her?

  * * * *

  The kitchen smells amazing when we arrive. Marlene has created something outstanding once more, chicken, fresh vegetables, rice and secret spices. I’m learning something new everyday about flavor profiles and wine finishes. We take dinner out on the giant roof terrace, the view of the cityscape to the one side, mountains in a distance on the other still stunning to me.

  I’m not sure how I feel about our earlier conversation. Does love solve everything? Will this work out even if Carter needs to keep some secrets from me?

  She doesn’t prod, and so I’m trying to concentrate on other subjects, like the upcoming wedding. I have a white dress in my closet that made me cry when I first put it on. It made my parents cry too, and my best friends Haley and Lara who had come to the fitting. It’s fit for a princess. I made Carter laugh when I said that, because her sister is married to real royalty, and not all of them are that rich apparently.

  I love the way it makes me look, and judging from her expression when she saw me in it, she likes it too. She brushed aside my superstition easily.

  “People couldn’t see each other until the wedding day because the parents had arranged everything. They wanted to make sure the groom wouldn’t run away. I won’t ever let you go. I promise.”

  “You look tired,” she says now. “Long day?”

  It’s the truth, though I can hardly complain, being back in university with a paid internship and a guaranteed job with the foundation afterwards. Life is good. She’s right, I need to stop worrying. In for days, I’ll be married to this gorgeous woman, and whatever risks she’ll take, she knows what she’s in for.

  I do too.

  “Is that code?” I say, teasingly. “Let me finish this first.” Marlene’s dessert is a light mango champagne mousse decorated with whipped cream and white chocolate.

  “If you must,” she says with an exaggerated sigh.

  There’s a reason why I have a personal trainer—it’s not something Carter made me do, but I asked for. It’s not like I enjoy exercising, but I need to do something to counter all this amazing food. Sadly, great sex is not enough to do the trick.

  Speaking of which…

  I get up, hesitate for a moment. It’s still hard to get used to always having someone to clean up after me. Pretty awesome, but…weird. Carter follows me silently, taking my hand on the way. The master suite is located on the first floor, midlevel of the property, with a view of the mountains.

  The master bathroom is a stunning work of blues and greens and white. I admit to admiring the walk-in shower every time I step inside. Tonight, I don’t have a lot of time for it, because Carter joins me under the rainforest showerhead, naked, wrapping her arms around me from behind.

  All those dire thoughts about could-be’s in the future vanish, the tension falling away from me as she spreads the shower gel over my body, her touch warm and firm, hands lingering, then cupping my breasts. My nipples harden against her palms, and I gasp, delighted at the sensation, and pleasures to come.

  “I know you would have liked to do it in the office,” she whispers against my neck. “I’m sorry, I prefer it a little more private.”

  “That’s fine. Perfect.”

  Carter places a hand over my stomach, the other wandering lower, between my thighs, tickling, teasing. I can’t hold in the sounds, and she’s not even there yet. “Admit it. You’ve been thinking about me a little.”

  “Guilty.” The easy glide of her finger into me leaves me no choice but to confess. I brace myself against the colorful glass tile, my legs trembling already. Easy—I won’t deny it.

  “Yes, I can tell.” She moves her finger slowly, adds another, heat rushing through my body as it welcomes the intrusion and the slow irresistible rhythm. “I want you to feel safe, relaxed. Everything is going to work itself out.” Her tone is low, hypnotic, focusing all my attention on the sensations building. I’m close, and the minute chang
e in my breathing prompts her to move faster, her thumb brushing over my clit. I don’t need more than that to succumb to the tide of pleasure rushing over me, my body clenching hard with the rhythm of my heartbeat.

  I don’t think I could be anymore relaxed than that. She likes this, likes me like this. Carter doesn’t try to own me with money and expensive gifts, but in those intimate moments, there is no question who has the power. That’s fine with me. I didn’t even know I could experience this much, this deeply—but every once in a while, I need to reciprocate, to show her I love her back with everything I have. She doesn’t resist when I push her up against the wall, kissing her lips, her neck, then all the way to her breasts, sucking the hard peaks into my mouth. She leans back against the wall, her hands in my hair, moaning softly.

  As much as she likes control, she likes losing it too, though it’s not something that comes easily to her, as I’ve learned. I sink to my knees, and for a while, the steady rhythm of the water cascading down on our bodies is the only sound, until she can’t be silent any longer.

  It’s moments like this that remind me our relationship is equal, not matter what it might look like to the casual observer.

  Chapter Two

  For the next couple of days, Carter is busy. The wedding preparations are all done, champagne and cake ordered, the venue paid for, there’s nothing much to do for me. I have the week off from my internship, only a half day more of classes. Since Carter won’t be home for dinner and I’ll be missing my book club—again—due to the honeymoon trip, I ask the girls to come by, and naturally, they accept.

  Back in those days when she sheltered me from a dangerous criminal and the world at large, Carter had paid an actress to sell the story to the people I cared about—how I was tired of juggling my job at the Café Vienna with my classes and needed a break desperately. Our cover was almost blown. Haley and Lara still seem suspicious at times, but they are also in awe of my fairy tale love story.